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Nicole Bernadette

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(no subject) [Jan. 2nd, 2004|04:17 pm]
Nicole Bernadette
I Win.
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...The pipes, the pipes are calling... [Oct. 27th, 2003|11:34 pm]
Nicole Bernadette
He asked me if the poem was about him and proceeded to explain, at great length, why he thought it was. He did say that he would consider himself lucky if he was indeed the man in the poem, and then asked if I could answer his curiosity.

I wrote:

"A simple yes or no would have sufficed. Yes, the poem was inspired by you, though, during the East Lansing trip before the last one. You'd been wearing a white t-shirt and threatened (quite unfairly, I might add) to remove the shirt over top of it...eer, which got me thinking...'Narrating slopes,' 'typed shadows,' 'penned terrain' 'cotton...outline' and even 'inked in rum' are all (hopefully) there to further emphasize that I'm talking about story/content. I'd always hoped to add white t-shirts to my personal mythology and in the process make them represent not only a fetish but also superficial beauty. Thus, the poem becomes a poem getting beneath the superficial whilst parallelling reading a book; hence the storytelling imagery...I'm really enjoying the Scott McCloud book. Thank you"

Then my grandmother died. We drove down to Chicago for the funeral and the wake and luncheon and then drove back to Michigan, where the body will be shipped and buried Tuesday.

I was fine until my cousins cried...then I was okay for a while, until my sisters started to cry. When the 7 year old cried I broke down and when Raymond broke down, I lost it completely.

There was a piper. He played "O Danny Boy"; that made me cry.

My aunt Bernadette read something she'd written, and she made me cry.

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(no subject) [Oct. 21st, 2003|10:29 pm]
Nicole Bernadette
My parents pretty much forced me further into debt by insisting I buy a new car.

It's an Accent in pull-me-over red. Damn, that'd be a nice artsy description of an accent, but it's only the color of my car. C'est la vie.
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The Elevation of a White T-Shirt [Oct. 20th, 2003|02:33 am]
Nicole Bernadette
[mood |enthralledenthralled]

The Elevation of a White T-Shirt

It is ungodly sexy,
removing a white t-shirt.
the slow unmasking of narrating curves
and typed shadows inked in rum drizzled down a spine,
pooling in a valley of bladed poetics,
revealing a penned terrain
that cotton had only begun to outline.
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Ed... [Oct. 20th, 2003|02:15 am]
Nicole Bernadette
It's been a long time since I've been attracted to someone who was attracted to me...but it's the first time I've ever had someone tell me that they want to ask me out but there are oh so many factors preventing him from doing just that; I live too far away, he's still getting over a bad break up, we're just too much alike (flaky, wishy-washy liberal artists), AND he's not quite sane.

Actually, I guess we would be dating were it not for that last factor.

I knew he was slightly emotional...I actually suspected that he was a cutter (though, today I was able to look under the leather cuffs and there were no scars...none that I could see, anyway.) I'm still not sure if he's suicidal...I guess that's something I might like to find out, but I do know that he's slightly obsessive. He broods often enough over the simpleist, piddly things.

It's been a long while since I've felt passionately about anything, let alone any one.
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Bugger All [Oct. 13th, 2003|10:22 pm]
Nicole Bernadette
[mood |tiredtired]

alphamind48105: are ya pregnant? did ya get married? are you a best selling author yet?

Well, lets see, I moved back home.

I was in a car accident and got a speeding ticket when the cop didn't even see the accident. I fought it and the charge that I caused the accident was dropped but they held that because I had originally said I was going five miles over the limit, that I indeed was, so I was still charged with speeding. Cops are fucking assholes.

I've been substitute teaching for special education classes almost daily.

There's a book out in which I'm published: "the offbeat"'s new edition www.msu.edu/~offbeat

Kendra's in it as well.

I found my mom on the floor, unconscious in a pool of blood last week. Wait, week before last, 'cause I took out her stitches for her last week. Turns out she's allergic to aspirin and has many cysts on her ovaries; which popped week before, during the allergic reaction. She's better now, but I was pretty upset there for a while.

Then, following the accident, my little brother was diagnosed with depression. My seven year old brother. He found my mother with me. He sighs a lot and has severe chest and head pain...he's always saying that his whole body feels like it's going to explode...and, of course, he's neck's stiff on occasion.
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Words of Wisdom from Shane MacGowan [Sep. 7th, 2003|07:46 pm]
Nicole Bernadette
Shane: "What's the point of taking out your pathetic little hangups on an audience? What's so special about some bleedin' idiot whining about them? It doesn't make you more important if you stand up on a stage and tell everybody about them."
How do you see pleasure in relation to pain?

Shane: "They're obviously pretty close. You can get pleasure out of listening to an extremely sad song. But it's also painful. I don't mind having my back scratched until there's blood everywhere."
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Fermenting [Apr. 30th, 2003|12:34 am]
Nicole Bernadette
“Reach me the remotes, will ya?” he asked.

I was sitting in a bra and skirt,
an open book, resting on my breasts.

a green flannel arm reached over my legs, in the direction of the remotes.

I’d been wearing the same bra for three days
and I’d bought him the shirt he was wearing,
but now the plaid felt sour,
and the green was dirty,
and neither complemented my mood.

“Get up and change the channel yourself,” I said, and turned a page.

my hair was unwashed, uncombed, and creeping down my shoulders
ready to take over my arms, my back, my legs-all unmoving
in compliance with the overgrowth,
the remotes lying beside me, waiting for vines,
Hoping, like I was, that eventually there’d be grapes.

“What are you reading that’s so important that you can’t hand me the fucking remotes? For Christ’s sake, you’ve been reading the same God damn page for the last two hours.”

I had, but now I was taking in the flavor of the type,
the font,
the small ink splotch above an “e,”

“I’m making wine, leave me the fuck alone.”
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(no subject) [Apr. 28th, 2003|09:49 am]
Nicole Bernadette


As the LGBT community is largely a loose-knit and partially invisible minority, word-of-mouth is an extremely important communication tool for our population. I am writing in the hope that you will spread the word throughout Mid-Michigan on the following important issue.

Earlier this year, I had the honor of being elected chair of the East Lansing Human Relations Commission. Under the authority of the city’s charter, the commission acts as the advocate and protector of civil rights within the boundaries of the city.

Like East Lansing, Michigan law protects individuals from discrimination in: 1) housing, 2) employment, and 3) public accommodations (for more specifics on state law, see http://www.michigan.gov/mdcr). Both state law and city regulations bar discrimination based on age, race, sex, color, national origin, religion, and other classifications. In addition, the city’s ordinance specifically protects the civil rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered people and –uniquely -- individuals that are students. For more information on East Lansing regulations, contact the city clerk’s office at 517-337-1731.

If you or someone you know believes that his or her civil rights have possibly been violated within the boundaries of East Lansing, please contact the Human Resources Department at City Hall (517-319-6893). You do not have to be a resident of the city to file a complaint and an LGBT-sensitive staff person will offer to assist you in filling out the necessary materials.

The Human Relations Commission will:

1) work to mediate a favorable resolution to the complaint;

2) possibly hold a formal hearing to investigate the matter, and, in cases of wrong doing, order restitution or fines as defined by the ordinance; and/or

3) send the case to the court system to enforce the civil rights ordinance.

Because MSU is a land-grant entity under the State Constitution, the commission’s enforcement powers of the civil rights ordinance on campus is unclear and largely untested. However, commissioners can and will act to mediate campus situations and, if a hearing is called for, express an opinion on cases brought before us.

If you would like more information on East Lansing’s Human Rights Commission, please contact me directly at: southernemigre@acd.net

Best Regards,

William Sawyer
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Angelo [Apr. 27th, 2003|03:45 am]
Nicole Bernadette
[mood |pessimisticpessimistic]
[music |"Ode to Billy Jo" - Bobby Gentry]

Sooo, this is how EVERYTHING'S ended:

1: He came into the office, commented on the low cut shirt I was wearing (the black cleavage tank top, I think we all know the one I'm talking about)...
2: He asked me for a ride to Brian and Ray's Coffee shop Preformance...
3: When I picked him up, he commented on my change of shirt...
4: He didn't find anything about the coffee shop amusing, thought that my brother wasn't funny, thought brian couldn't sing, write, or cover music...
5: Asked me for money to buy a tea (very politely and flirting-ly)
6: Asked who my sister was...
7: I pointed her out and he proceeded to a) tell me how hot she is b) tell me he didn't see a resemblance c) stare at her "trying to see the resemblance," for long enough to creep her out and piss Brian off d) tell me that we had to be half sisters because he's not seeing, "...how you're related to her."
8: Pointed to my sister's best friend, "Hey, who's the hot blonde?"
"My neighbor and my sister's best friend."
"She's hot..."
"We've established this."
"Introduce me."
"She's only 18."
"I think she's dating the guy next to her."
"Dude, you've gotta hook me up."
A half an hour later,
HIM: "Take your shirt off."
ME: "NO."
HIM: "You're mad at me."
ME: "NO, very annoyed and disapointed."
HIM: "Well, I guess you better take me home..."
Another half hour later still...
HIM: "Come up."
ME: "Wow, how fucking smooth."
HIM: "Take your shirt off."
Three hours later...
Oh, did I mention he hit on Brian's sister and her friend? But when I said something to him about that, he said, "Nah, I was just being friendly...they're what, like 14?"
"Wow, pretty close."
"Yeah, I guessed that after I talked to them for a bit...I do have a minimum."
The next day,
"OKAY, I modify that...I'll never date another engineer, ever ever again."
Oh, did
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